Thursday, March 24, 2011

Let's get ready to RUMBLE!

When my husband and I were engaged, we had to go to counseling sessions with our church officiate.  Of course, we were married within weeks of meeting one another, so we only had time for 2 sessions.  We gained some very important knowledge in this short time. We learned the rules for a fair fight.  Now, in an ideal marriage, couples would never fight.  But let's be honest, we don't live in a perfect world.  We are all going to fight now and again.  But having some ground rules set ahead of time makes for a less bloody battle (figuratively speaking).  I typed up a prettier copy of the rules the pastor gave us and hung them on the wall in our first home.  Every time we had a disagreement, we would constantly refer back to the rules and point out which one either one of us broke.  At the end of the argument, whoever broke the most rules lost the fight and had to apologize.  Of course, that's not how they are suppose to be used, but it worked for us, and typically made light of our arguments.  We kept the rules in the kitchen, considering that's where most arguments tend to take place. We haven't had the rules printed on the wall for a while, but when the husband returns I plan on putting a fresh copy up.  I don't expect we'll have a fight for a while, but when we do, he'll get a big kick out of it when I randomly toss out, "Ooh, you just lost a point for breaking rule #3" HAHA  Feel free to type up your own copy for your home.

BTW We tend to solve many issues with Paper, Rock, Scissors, but my husband tends to cheat a lot...hence the above listed rules, huh?

Rules For A Fair Fight
By Dr. Scott E. Wigginton

1) Identify the real problem
2) Label the problem, not the person (no name calling)
3) Stick to one subject
4) No getting "historical" (don't dig up old issues)
5) Avoid Exploding
6) No threats of abandonment
7) Eliminate public potshots
8) Don't go for hot buttons
9) Admit to being angry
10) Disagree as equals
11) Take turns listening and discussing
12) No yelling or violence

You may not be able to avoid ever having an argument, but by following these rules you can at least hold a fair and civil argument with one another.

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