Keep Trying, Don't Give Up, Never Give Up...

Stupid Yo Gabba Gabba song...it's stuck in my head.  Although, it holds a valuable lesson.  Ni Hao Kai Lan also has a few variations of songs about not giving up too...so when you need some motivation, just tune into Nick Jr.  What am I talking about, you wonder?  Why, the same thing every woman has on her mind at least 90% of her life, my weight.  11 months ago, my husband said goodbye to a 146 pound wife and headed to Afghanistan.  Fortunately for us all, he will not be coming home to that woman.  We've both been fighting a battle over this past year, mine a bit less dangerous but certainly no less trying.  My husband will return to a much smaller and happier version of his wife, at least 31 pounds smaller.  My goal 11 months ago was to hit 119 (a goal I never could seem to achieve, even in high school).  The deal was, if I could hit 119, he would quit smoking.  Several months ago I hit this goal.  But I wasn't as happy with my waist line as I thought I'd be.  So while I hit a plateau and have been bouncing between 119 and 117 for a couple of months, I've not given up...like the Yo Gabba Gabba gang keeps saying.  I started a 3rd round of Insanity back in July, but after a vacation during my recovery week, I sort of slacked off and skipped month two.  I had a hard time finding my motivation, but I forced myself to pick it back up a couple of weeks ago.  After 3 days (and 3 pounds up), I lost what little drive I had and fell off the wagon again.  Several days ago, my husband informed me of some amazing news, he would be home sooner than expected, about 2 weeks sooner! The great news threw me into hyper motivation mode.  I only have (x) days to finish my Insanity!  Well, it was the motivation I needed.  I really want to finish my third round of Insanity for many reasons...

1) I hate to not finish something once I've started
2) I want to earn my "I earned it" Insanity t-shirt (granted I've earned it twice, but I won't feel like I've earned it until I've finished this last round)
3) I want to tone up and look my best for my hubby when he comes home
4) I want to wear one of those sexy Halloween costumes for once in my life
5) I want to look good not just in clothes, but in a bikini
6) I want to feel good about myself
7) I want to be Insanity's fan of the week
8) I want people to think, "Ohmagosh, she's too skinny, eat a sandwich" HAHA...not really, but ya know
9) I want abs!
10) I want to wear a sexy tight dress to the Army ball
11) I want to set a New Years resolution for once in my life that doesn't involve my weight
12) I want to sit down and not see fat rolls
13) I set a goal, I want to achieve it!

Before you judge me for my many vain goals listed above, know that this is not for you or anyone else.  I've never ever been happy with my body.  Even as a child I had a pudgy tummy.  My weight loss will give me a confidence I've been struggling for my whole life.  For once, I'll hold my head higher knowing I look better and knowing that I set a seemingly impossible goal for myself and achieved this goal.  It's not magazines or shallow boyfriends that have convinced me that I need to lose weight, it's as simple as looking in the mirror and saying, "This isn't good enough".  I'm tired of looking at other girls and thinking, "I want what they have" when with some hard work and determination, I could have had what they had all along.  I will no longer cheat myself out of the body I have longed for.  If you want something, no one is going to give it to you, you have to earn it.  No one ever achieved a goal by giving up.

My scale yesterday morning!  It's moving in the right direction!

Here's a look at where I started from.